by nobody | Nov 23, 2017 | Yoga Therapy
Autumn (or fall depending on what you like to say) always makes me think about tradition and gratitude. Yes, I realize that the thanksgiving holiday was named in quite the literal way – not a lot of guesswork needed to breakdown what we’re supposed to be doing on that day. And then tradition comes in because each of our families, friends and tribes all celebrate in their own special way. Maybe there is turkey or maybe not depending on where your loved ones have landed on the whole “is there a way to make turkey that is NOT dry” debate.
In my family, thanksgiving traditions are less about the where you stand on the great turkey debate and more about the occasion. I am, as my mother says, “a Thanksgiving baby”! My birthday falls the day before, on or day after this gratuitous holiday. So, naturally our thanksgiving dinners have traditionally doubled as a birthday party. Each year as I stand in front of my cake, surrounded by 25 of our closest family and friends, I feel a deep sense of belonging and authentically express gratitude for this gift called life.
The power of gratitude is becoming a popular topic in all circles of thought from business to leadership development to health and wellness. Heck, when Lianne Rimes does a one-minute video for Fortune Inc. on how her gratitude journal helps her create a more positive mental state (I did not make that up), you know that a topic has made it big time.
But you don’t have to take Lianne Rimes’ word for it. Gratitude is no doubt an important aspect of human nature and has been and still is valued by religions and moral philosophies. Research has demonstrated that when we take time to be grateful, particular neural circuits (nerve cells that carry information to the central nervous system) are activated. Similar to the function of many antidepressants, the practice of gratitude has been proven to increase the production of dopamine and serotonin (our naturally occurring feel good chemicals). In fact, when I work with my clients, (no matter the condition), there typically is some sadness, frustration, and/ or stress that surround the challenges being faced. As part of the yoga therapy plan, I encourage them to keep a gratitude journal and the positive reports continue to demonstrate its deep impact! Simply said, the more we practice being grateful, the more content we feel, which improves our psychological well-being and overall health.
But, what about tradition? Why do we maintain them or even do them in the first place?
In my family, we have thanksgiving traditions that date back generations (literally) and as my family grows, new traditions are being embraced. Yet, through all the changes, the one thing that remains constant is the feeling of warmth and connection that traditions bring. I love that my birthday party has been built into to our thanksgiving tradition because I know that, like with all traditions, this was done with purpose, thought, and intentionality. The heightened attention around this celebration has always made it feel just a bit more magical and lent a certain spirit around the table.
I find that one of the most special and comforting aspects of yoga is that it too is steeped in tradition. The word yoga, comes from the Sanskrit root “yuj”, meaning to join, unify or become one with. All yoga consists of teachings that are passed from teacher to student. This tradition dates back more than 5000 years! Traditions can have a positive impact on our health and the health of our future generations.
Let’s explore a few of the other benefits of tradition through our yoga lens.
Identity: Traditions tell a story and allow us to understand the roots in which we’ve evolved. In yoga, the importance of the teacher/student relationship cannot and should not be minimized. The direct transmission of knowledge from teacher to student allows this ancient practice to thrive with consistency and without misinterpretation. It is this strong tradition that allows the core of the practice to be preserved, while simultaneously progressing.
Practicing traditions in family can offer a similar magic. Emory University psychologist Marshall Duke discovered that children who had an intimate knowledge of their family’s history were more resilient, better able to manage life stressors, and had more self-confidence than those who didn’t. It was concluded, that understanding your past and knowing that you belong to something bigger than yourself increases your ability to thrive.
Bonds: T.K.V. Desikachar (a master teacher who transformed the way yoga was practiced and turned it into both a wellness concept and a therapy) strongly expressed the powerful role that relationships play in the healing process. Coincidentally, there is compelling evidence that strong relationships contribute to a long, healthy, and happy life. Researchers have consistently found that families that engage in regular traditions report stronger connection and unity than those who don’t have these rituals. These interactions invite in more trust, intimacy, and help establish a bond that allows us to feel we are part of something unique and special. Further studies have found that those who feel they have friends and family to count on are better able to manage stress and are more satisfied with their personal health.
Values: One of the main purposes of traditions is to instill and reinforce values. In Patanjali’s 8 limbs of yoga (Get to Know the 8 Limbs of Yoga), a guide to living a meaning and purposeful life, a list of values are offered as the first 2 steps on the path to vital health, peace and wholeness. Traditions allow for the development of strong family values, which have been shown to help create a stable foundation for a family to thrive through crisis and challenge. Family values also influence the way children perceive themselves and the world around them. When we communicate, and live those values, our children learn to express themselves, problem solve, grow from mistakes, and develop other skills that lead to fulfilling lives.
With personal face-to-face connection and intimacy becoming less and less a part of how we move through the world, it is that much more important the we utilize every opportunity to maintain and practice the traditions that we hold dear. In my growing family, it’s been fun keeping the core of our childhood traditions alive and allowing them to evolve and change with the times. If you’re reflecting on this and having a hard time identifying what your traditions look like, or simply no longer relate with the ones from your childhood, start your own! Perhaps you start by reaching out to family or close friends to express your gratitude or calling upon your loved ones to help you establish impactful rituals and long lasting memories.
Happy Holidays!
by nobody | Nov 10, 2017 | Yoga Therapy
The other day, I received a text from a friend and fellow yoga therapist asking me to cover her class. Now of course, asking to get a class covered is no big thing. However, this conversation went on to inspire this post. I soon found out that my friend needed coverage because she was sick from being overworked, overwhelmed, and just plain over it. The irony here is that her/our work is focused on healing those who are overworked and overwhelmed with chronic pain, stress, or simply life.
This isn’t the first time that one of my fellow yoga therapists or yoga professionals have compromised their own health for the health and wellbeing of others. Not to mention, the drastic rise in stress and chronic disease has demonstrated the desperate need for self-care and self-care education in today’s world, resulting in a $400 billion industry. Many of us work a solo practice (one-man/one-woman show) and spend our days on the road running from one client or class to the next with barely enough time to eat, hydrate or use the bathroom. With that schedule, it’s only a matter of time before we experience burnout and compassion fatigue (a state experienced by those helping people in distress) from pouring ourselves into our work.
We yoga therapists and natural caregivers alike readily give and give to others until our personal cup is empty (Remember our ROOT Hero Connie Sintuvat? Read her story on self care here!). And as we’ve said before, we could learn a lot from flight attendants who ask that you put on your own oxygen mask before you assist anyone else. This is because we can only effectively help others after we help ourselves.
Oh, I am not to be excluded from this group either. If you knew me a couple years ago, you would find me almost always saying “yes” to clients in place of my free time. My thought process was simple and went something like this: I love what I do and want to offer this gift of wellness and healing as much as possible, whenever and wherever I can.
It wasn’t until I was at a point of complete depletion did I notice that I had not seen my friends in ages and was struggling to find time to expand my work in ways I felt I could only dream of. By ignoring my own self-care and growth, I was impairing the way I delivered my work to my students and clients. I was physically and emotionally exhausted, frustrated and felt less creative and less connected. I was forced to ask myself, “how is this serving?”
Once I came to the thrilling revelation that I had to dramatically change my mindset to create space to live my life, a rush a fear washed over me. I had no idea where to begin. I was so overwhelmed by all the things I felt I had to shift, that I almost considered ways to figure out how to maintain an unmanageable schedule just to avoid the change. Taking responsibility was so foreign to me, that it took some real self-reflection and help from my tribe (Check out our blog on Healing With a Little Help from Your Tribe) to get me to take the step that I had long used to guide my clients.
There are several steps I go through as I progress with a client, but for our purposes and to keep things simple, I have outlined 3 must-do’s.
#1. Assessment: The yoga therapy process always begins with an assessment and so does the process of nurturing our own self-care. Often our attitudes and beliefs form personal barriers that stand in the way of caring for ourselves. With that, it’s important to evaluate our self-care history and identify any and all imbalances. Ask yourself:
- Has this been a lifelong pattern?
- Do you think you are being selfish if you put your needs first?
- Do you have fears around tending to your needs?
- Has it always seemed easier to take care of others first?
For me, lack of self-care had been a lifelong pattern and I had a lot of guilt around tending to my own needs. I remember being assigned group projects in school and I would always offer to take on the project as a solo mission. I would drown myself in a workload for 4 while the others were probably cruising through their weekend without a care in the world. I also began to explore my family history. My mother worked (and still works) as a full-time teacher. On top of that, she raised three kids, drove us all over the city (in LA no less) as we participated in many after school sports and hobbies and still managed to cook dinner every night. With a schedule like that, she certainly had little to no time for herself. (Check out our blog on Healing what we Inherit!) In short, for me, these behaviors run deep.
#2. Plan: In yoga, to create healing and balance, you have to cultivate the opposite way of thinking (known in Sanskrit as, Pratipaksha Bhavana), which ultimately will turn into inspired action. When we are in a self-care deficit, our plan must include tools to begin to move the self-care needle in a positive direction.
Let’s go back to my self-care journey. In my assessment, I discovered fear and guilt around tending to my own needs. Because of that, I lacked proper boundaries around my “me” time. The first step in my plan involved changing the way I thought about my own self-care. I started to tell myself (whether I believed it or not) that I was going to be more efficient, productive, and would be able to develop deeper connections with my clients if my cup was full. I told myself this for a couple months before I started making serious schedule changes. I found I needed that space to build my confidence around taking time away from working in and on my business.
The next piece of the plan was around setting boundaries. I decided that I was going to literally schedule in my “me” time every day.
- I no longer wanted to regularly work on weekends as this was the only time I had to connect with family and my significant other. I would make an exception for personal/professional growth opportunities (being too rigid never works).
- I would set specific office hours and organize my day in a way that best served me versus what others asked of me.
- To believe it, I had to see it, so I wrote out various versions of my new schedule which included everything from scheduling my meditation and yoga practice to answering emails. I even created spacefor a true lunch break. No more lunches stuck behind the steering wheel of the car for me! Now that I had begun to change my thinking and poured hours (yes hours) to writing out versions of my new schedule, which was basically creating a new business model, I was ready for step 3!
#3. Implementation: As yoga therapists, we know that developing awareness and creating a plan is not enough to make change. It is a great start to making dramatic improvements in our life. Yet, without proper implementation, we can easily fall back into the same patterns which can leave us feeling stuck, resentful, and unhappy. It is also not uncommon to start beating ourselves up for not following through with our plan. I wish I can say it was as easy as 1, 2, 3 with regards to my self-care development. But the reality is, it took me a few more months after creating my plan to begin the implementation. And believe me, I needed a lot of encouragement and support from my network to reaffirm that the life I was living was unsustainable and that this change was not a luxury but rather a necessity.
Implementation for me began by changing one thing- free up my weekends for family and friends. I started having conversations with my weekend clients. I discussed what my new hours were, and offered various times and days in which I would be available to meet. At first, I was fearful that no one would work with my new hours. Yet, to my surprise many of my clients expressed how much they valued our time together and were open to being flexible. I was overwhelmed with joy and for the first time was truly able to receive my worth. After a few weeks, I had no weekend commitments. This opened the door for me to take weekend trips, go to a movie, or (dare I say) stay at home!
For us caregivers, applying self-care to ourselves can seem like rocket science. However, you don’t need an engineering degree to analyze, invent, and design a schedule that fuels your needs and your passion for your work. You simply need to recognize that there is a deficit and then take interest in and prioritize your own wellbeing. Being a yoga therapist and/or care giver of any kind is hard work and you deserve to place your health and quality of life at the top.
Are you a caregiver or someone in the business of service and feeling challenged in creating a schedule and life that fuels your needs? You’re in luck! Self-care development includes changing our mindset and ultimately our self-care habits. Join me December 2nd for my “Changing Our Habits to Heal” workshop. REGISTER NOW!
Can’t make it? Reach out and receive a free 15-minute coaching consultation on self-care development.
Values: One of the main purposes of traditions is to instill and reinforce values. In Patanjali’s 8 limbs of yoga (Get to Know the 8 Limbs of Yoga), a guide to living a meaning and purposeful life, a list of values are offered as the first 2 steps on the path to vital health, peace and wholeness. Traditions allow for the development of strong family values, which have been shown to help create a stable foundation for a family to thrive through crisis and challenge. Family values also influence the way children perceive themselves and the world around them. When we communicate, and live those values, our children learn to express themselves, problem solve, grow from mistakes, and develop other skills that lead to fulfilling lives.
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