Welcome a brand new guest blogger to the ROOT tribe, yoga instructor and meditation coach Kate Green! Read on to learn about how yoga has helped her discover a whole new meaning of work.

Work, work, work, work, work … On a daily basis, we all work hard.  We hustle at our jobs and sometimes at our side-hustles, we take care of loved ones, and we sweat it out at the gym or on the mat. In my past, I regularly checked all of these boxes but I consistently ignored what I consider the most important work we can perform – that which is crucial to our health and happiness – internal work.

Internal work is the displacement of our regular patterns of thoughts and emotions. Now, you may be thinking, “Patterns – what patterns? Every thought I have is unique, special, and new.” Yes, you as an individual are unique and special but, if you’re like most of us, your thoughts tend to follow a repeatable pattern.This is because over time, through experiences, our minds are conditioned to react to events around us in certain ways, often against our own best interests. We consume so much information that we have to create mental shortcuts to survive. The trouble comes when those shortcuts start to limit our possibilities and keep us from growing.

This is why internal work is so crucial. The work we put into dissolving those patterns creates space within us, so that we may live more wholly in the present, experiencing the world with a more child-like and curious mind, free from judgement. And once you remove judgement then we’re really free to go after what we really want. No woman, no cry? More like no judgement, no cry because as we shed judgement of ourselves we shed our fear, hesitation and attachment to those pesky outcomes.

On the flipside, when we ignore our internal work, we overcompensate in other places. For me, it was at my job. Didn’t matter which job I had, I would measure my self-worth by how much stress I could absorb and keep going. Pushing myself further, taking less time for myself, grinning and bearing it. And guess what? I wasn’t even making good money! What the what?

My motivation was an internal displacement – searching for approval from external forces.I was always in early and staying late, taking on more than could possibly be finished within a workday. There was one year where I only took one vacation day and I was actually proud of myself for “working so hard.” I wore it like a badge of honor and thought that it said something positive about me to my boss.  If I could prove to everyone that I was the hardest worker on the team, I’d be rewarded with bonuses, promotions, praise, etc. Right?  

Wrong. In fact, it left me feeling disparaged, under-appreciated, and exhausted. I’d probably still be slaving away if it wasn’t for the internal transformation I’ve experienced.  I’d like to take credit for my awakening, chalk it up to hours spent in silence in an ashram, but really it boils down to being just awake enough to take a few subtle (and not-so-subtle) hints.

Namaste

I found my yoga practice at a place called Syncstudio in Brooklyn, as I think of it, an oasis of space in a crowded, manic city.  I don’t mean physical space, obviously, but rather space to drop inside yourself.  It was here that my ongoing transformation begun. Run by two devoted young women, Karla Misjan and Ashley Lively, the classes at Syncstudio all weave in threads of mindfulness that really sunk in for me.  

The realization that I had during one of Karla’s Savasanas was very simple, really: Sutra 2.42 – By contentment, supreme joy is gained.  

I’m not sure if she said it exactly like that, but the message was clear.  Meet yourself where you are, in your own truth, and learn to be okay with that.  The physical work that we do on the mat is a tool to help create space in our bodies that can be called upon by our minds when the challenges become internal.  Practicing stillness and ease when faced with struggle.  Once you allow the mind to stop whirling for a moment and peak a glimpse of the space within you, the doubt and anxiety fades and you’re left with peace.  

It was here that I found my contentment – contentment that I would and could be the provider of my own happiness and light.I remember thinking, “If I was by myself for the rest of my life, I’d be okay with that.”  

Above all I learned the most important lessons that change everything:

  • Happiness wasn’t going to land in my lap one day (big let down)
  • I had  to be okay with myself first and foremost
  • I had to take care of my own happiness

Whoopsie!

One of the more painfully obvious lessons arrived not long after moving to Los Angeles in the form a Tibia/Fibula Open Reduction and Internal Fixation.  In true recurring pattern fashion, I was out to prove (to who??) I was the strongest party-gal around.  Can I dance on a stool after a day of drinks? I can sure try. Lessons from my yoga practice weren’t sinking in?  The universe toppled that stool right over and I immediately learned what it was like to be still… for 3 months straight.  

It took two surgeries to mend my bones. And the time spent off my feet meant a lot of muscle loss. My recovery not only included physical therapy but also reignited passion for yoga (it was wonderful rehabilitation for my left side). As soon as I was able to stand, I was back in the studio. I started to find teachers I loved, focused acutely on my placement and posture, and let the internal lessons absorb. I learned to accept my current status and meet myself where I was; quite weak and lopsided. I opened up to my teachers about my injury and was met with support and encouragement, as well as wise reminders to take baby steps. It was then that I learned that yoga was a seriously valuable recovery tool.

Work Hard Play Hard

I had found it – the ultimate job for me. A job that required 12 hours days regularly, and actually had the motto “Work Hard Play Hard” worked into their branding. When I switched teams and starting working for a new boss, no matter how hard I worked, they always wanted more time. My efforts seemed fruitless and this is where the magical, yet hard to read sign is.  After breaking my leg and recognizing that I was out of alignment with my internal truth, I stopped pouring my life into this job. I set boundaries and didn’t let things get to me so personally. Needless to say, my role there quickly ended.  

You thought I was going to say it got better, didn’t you.  As if a sign from the gods, my internal practice was starting to pay off in the physical realm, and my life didn’t align with the manic “Work Hard Play Hard” lifestyle any longer.  But all is not lost, I now have a job that I love that I can devote my intellect and energy to in an authentic way.  And I still certainly play hard.

In many ways I am working on being more present and whole in my daily life. I take the time to enjoy making my coffee or brushing my teeth, appreciating the ease and stillness of these moments.  Living in Los Angeles, I get a lot of practice with delivering compassion to other drivers. In my new role as an analyst, my work is all about detail.  When engaging with a project, I (try to) practice single-tasking, focusing my whole attention to one thing at a time, ensuring that I set myself up for success in the future. I know that when I come back to review or revisit my work, I can be assured that it was done thoughtfully, and not rushed.

There are still certainly times when I feel the pressure of a deadline or the stress of nothing turning out the way I planned.  As we learn in yoga though, true mastery does not mean changing the world around you, but rather changing the way you respond.  My natural tendency is to make people happy – pulling me in generally more directions than I need to be.  When I find my stress levels rising, I now take a break instead of letting things consume me.  I notice when I’m getting more irritable and know that I can choose to go down a different path outside of my old habits. This allows me to show up fully for my next task or meeting, without the cloud of distraction hovering over me.

Carrying On With My Work

I feel lucky to have been able to shift my perspective in life and feel like I found my yoga practice at a time when I could have gone down a dark road forever.  I believe that my yoga practice saved my life, or at least it saved my happiness.  It created the tiniest bit of space within me and allowed me to absorb so many important lessons.  I now recognize my patterns more easily and I notice my thoughts and fears as they pass through me like clouds passing through the sky.

To continue down this path and explore new spaces and lessons, I recently enrolled in and completed a 200hr yoga teacher training program with Yogaworks in Santa Monica.  While I generally shy away from expressing myself honestly and openly, I want to share my work with others and, through creating space, pay forward the blessings that opened my eyes.  And in a very full-circle moment, I led 30 of my new coworkers in a guided meditation during company-wide education day. Work used to be my trigger, where I would hide from myself and now I’m sharing my passion and helping others start on their own internal work.  All of this is the start of me folding these experiences into my true self, as someone who respects the role of internal work in creating happiness through mindfulness and contentment.