3 Steps to Boost Self-Trust During Transitions

by Jasmine | Aug 6, 2018 | Yoga Therapy

Our ability to trust ourselves, self-trust, is crucial to how we move through the world. It requires that we know what we want and have the confidence that, regardless of outcomes, we’ll be okay with whatever decision we make.

It’s one thing when someone says, “I don’t trust myself” about Krispy Kreme Donuts or a bag of oatmeal cookies – guilty – but it’s much more disruptive when we don’t trust the decisions we make in life.

Self-trust comes up a lot, especially during transitions. Venturing into the unknown can bring up a lot of fear and cause us to re-evaluate whether or not we REALLY trust our decisions. Some common ones are:

• Moving -homes or cities
• Switching jobs
• Getting married
• Starting a family
• Making an investment like buying a house or continuing your education
• Ending a toxic relationship

It’s at these times that our self-trust is most tested. When it’s not there, we end up questioning everything.

When I was 15 years old, I visited a tarot card reader. This was 1/3 fun and 2/3 a desperate need to know the answers. I didn’t trust myself so I was searching for someone to tell me whether I was I on the right track.

After a few minutes, the tarot card reader told me that I would NEVER get married. I had always dreamed of getting married and having a family so, when I heard that this wasn’t in the cards for me (pun intended), I was crushed.  I trusted that message more than I trusted my own power to create my own life.

I carried that message for so long that, when I actually got engaged and marriage became a possibility, I couldn’t help think that the tarot card reader might still be right. Silly I know, but I remember having that thought and then feeling sad when I realized how powerless I had allowed myself to be for all those years.

The tarot card reader was just one example out of years struggling with self-trust. I was so disconnected with myself – what I was feeling and why – that there was no way I could trust my intuition or decisions. As a result, I was easily pressured by the expectations placed on me by my family and others in an attempt to fit in.

For many years, I made decisions to please others, even if they weren’t aligned with who I was. This made things messy, to say the least, as I gave enormous power to fear. It wasn’t until I uncovered my power and trust in myself, that I felt free from these expectations.

Building trust in yourself is key to reclaiming control of your health and happiness. It allows you to take ownership of your life and turn your dreams into inspired action.

Whether you’re approaching a big life milestone, transition or simply wanted to make a small shift in your everyday patterns, trusting in yourself frees you from paralyzing fear, stigma, and unwanted expectations. It allows you to ride life’s waves while staying aligned with who YOU are.

Here’s a meditation practice that you can use to make a small shift towards a trusting yourself more!

Meditation for trust

Flex your trust muscles as you set your intentions.

• So often when setting an intention, we think of one thing, then another, then another then realize we don’t know which thing we need and just end up saying forget it. When setting an intention, notice the first thing that comes to mind. Set that thing as your intention and trust that this is your intuition speaking to you.

Cultivate an inner resource.

• An inner resource is something (a person, place, object) you can call upon that brings you feelings of support and strength. When we are cultivating self- trust, holding the energy of an inner resource can offer a sense of resilience and put something or someone in your cheerleading corner.

Breathe into the resistance.

• Trusting can be scary, especially when our trust muscles are just getting warmed up and starting to build strength. Often with fear, there is resistance. While you’re meditating, notice the resistance and notice where in your body you’re feeling it. Is it your neck, back or maybe even stomach (gut region)?
• Name those parts and visualize the breath easing the tension.

Notice where you are placing your trust.

• Our reality develops around where we place our trust. As you mediate be mindful of your thoughts and what you believe. If you find yourself spiraling down the rabbit hole of anxiety, worry and fear about making a wrong decision or not knowing the next step, remind yourself that this is you not placing trust in yourself but rather in this illusionary experience. Stop yourself and redirect your attention.

Practice gratitude.

• Put a little “me” spin on this. Remind yourself of your accomplishments and the things you like about your personality. This will strengthen your connection to yourself and give you perspective of how far you’ve come.

You can do it. Trust yourself!